Separated from the last post due to length, even though I have got a bit behind, and have written both of these today…
Tuesday 19th July 2011:
This was such a difficult day. Soeda-san rang me this morning to let me know she had got my email, and was very sympathetic. She asked me to come see her at some point today. I wanted to maintain some level of normality, and decided to attend my morning lecture. I skipped breakfast as I didn’t feel hungry, and went straight there. However, I ran into her on the staircase, and I broke down in tears.
I feel like this blog is getting very depressing. I will try not to write so much about the sad things from tomorrow onwards, because I don’t wish to remember feeling so down when I reread this years from now. But I must mention it with regards to Tuesday because it impacted my day so severely.
I went to her office, and ran into Deborah. She was waiting to see a doctor because she’d not been feeling well. I texted Maria to let her know I was upset: I had avoided telling her because I didn’t want her to worry, but thought it was best that she knew. Maria told me that she would come visit me after her exam that afternoon. I had a bit of a cry in the office, and then Soeda-san rang her daughter who then came to campus to help take my mind off it. She was really lovely, and took me to Ueno park so that I could relax and try to enjoy the day. Deborah came too after her appointment. We saw a man feeding the fish, and I’ve never seen so many in my life! It was crazy! It’s amazing how full of life the park is. I’d be surprised if more than 10 fish live in the York campus lake. 
We then went to Ueno zoo which was nice because I hadn’t been before. I saw the pandas, and they were insanely cute. They looked exhausted though, poor buggars. The baby monkeys were my favourites. The zoo was almost empty because of the weather. It was raining most of the day, and I was a little worried because I had my laptop in my bag, so I was using the umbrella to protect that, more than myself. We didn’t stay long, because I had a phonecall from Soeda-san asking me to come back when I was free as she’d booked me to speak to the counselor. By the time we left, we had seen around half of the zoo: Pandas, elephants, monkeys, birds, tiger, lions, gorillas, bear, etc. But nowhere near all of it. It was still a lot of fun.
When I got back, I spoke to the international student centre, and then to a counselor about how I was feeling. They asked me a few times if I wished to go home, but I decided that it would be best to stay. I feel as though this placement is a massive opportunity, and something that I have worked so hard to achieve, and so it would not benefit anybody if I gave up and went home. Then I would be sat in my room, alone, getting more upset.
I went back to the lab afterwards. I arrived very late and so I felt like a lot of people were judging me for being lazy or unreliable, which isn’t the case. Regardless, I went back to work and started reading papers. I had a paper discussion with Urakubo-san that evening, but it was brought forward which was quite lucky, as it meant that I could go home earlier in time for Maria’s arrival.
I managed to get the wrong train. Well, technically, the right train but going in the wrong direction. Which was a pain. I got home much later than intended. Fortunately, Maria didn’t arrive until around 7.20 because her train was delayed because of weather.
It was so lovely to see her, and she was really supportive. She brought dinner with her too, which was good, because I keep forgetting to eat since I’ve been here. We talked for a while, and then went on Skype to mum. Mum was happy to see her too!
We walked down by the river for a little while to get some air, and then headed back to my room. In the end, Maria stayed the night because the trains don’t run very late here, and it was easier. So we chatted for a bit, and then went to bed.
It was a really rough day overall, but hopefully things will pick up soon.
Wednesday 20th July:
Today was a much better day. I feel as though I am returning to my normal self a little. Maybe it has something to do with getting a good night’s sleep?
We woke up quite early, and headed onto campus together. Maria has never been to TODAI before and so she wanted to come with me to see the Uni. We got the train, and then walked in from Hongo-Sanchome station. On the way, we stopped for a Starbucks because my appetite has started to come back a bit. We had a frappuccino each, and I also had a cinnamon roll. I realised as we walked there that I had left my umbrella in the hotel room. Nice start, when a massive typhoon has been predicted!
I left Maria by the Science building, and headed to my lecture. We hugged and said goodbye, and then she went to look around campus some more before getting the train home.
My lecture today was kind of dull. It wasn’t a bad lecturer, or even a dull concept, it is just that physics is not my strongest area, and as I am still not 100% myself, I couldn’t really concentrate the whole way through. 3 people fell asleep in the lecture, and so I wasn’t as bad as them! Haha.
After the lecture, we went to the second refectory to get lunch. I had the same teriyaki fish again. I’m really starting to consider eating chicken because it is so difficult to eat here. Everything seems to contain chicken or pork, and so there’s not much variety in my diet right now. It’s not healthy.
I went to the lab after lunch, and began reading a paper for another discussion later in the week. It was really good: All about neural differentiation and the temporal signalling involved in the process. It is an area that I feel I am becoming more familiar with, and better able to understand.
I also wrote a letter to James’ family to send with the Book Group letters that Emma is arranging. Everyone from Book Group is so sad and so we all want to do whatever we can to help 😦 I got pretty emotional in the lab again and so went to the bathroom to calm down.
I am finding it slightly easier though: especially if I stay busy and keep my mind active. It is just especially hard since I only found out about Ali in February too, so a lot of things seem to come at once.
Urakubo-san then helped me to install a program onto my laptop for the analysis of Western blots. I am really looking forward to beginning my project properly now. I want to start getting some real practical lab experience, and so it is starting to get a bit more fast-paced.
The typhoon hit late afternoon, and I watched from the lab window. I have never seen so much rain in all my life! It was kind of nice, and afterwards, the weather was much cooler. It will become very humid later though.
I left the lab at 5pm and went to visit Soeda-san. She was happy to hear that I am feeling a bit better, and I also asked her for some advice regarding my mosquito bites. I now have at least 45 of them, ranging from my lower legs, to my back, to my arms. They are massive, and itch like hell. She said that there’s a chance it may be fleas from my bedding. That is absolutely disgusting, and I was really quite angry to hear that. She phoned the accommodation office, and they arranged for my betting to be sprayed. However, when I arrived back, I had the exact same bedding, and nothing seemed to be moved, expect I had a note on the bed saying they’d done it. Sketchy. I just hope they clear up soon, and really hope it’s only mosquito bites. *Shudders*.
I cooked some dinner when I got in, but the top shelf in my kitchen fell down, and both of my glasses smashed. There was glass everywhere. I rang the hotline about it, but the woman was not enormously helpful, and couldn’t tell me whether I would be charged for the damage, even though it clearly (at least in my opinion, clearly) wasnt my fault, and it’s lucky I wasn’t hurt! Grrr.
Then I wrote this. I will try to keep on top of this a little better so I don’t end up having to write 4000 words worth of twaddle in one sitting, every few days.
pseudopsience 